I was supposed to draw or paint a picture embodying the peace of Christ as a bonus activity for a bible study. I am a very creative person…but drawing and painting are not my thing. So I am going to write about it instead.
May 1989, I was ten years old. In my room I knelt down, bowed my head, and I prayed. I will never forget this moment…as it was the first time I truly understood what it was to yearn for Jesus and to truly repent for my sins. I felt His love. His dying on the cross for me became real. The cross became alive for me in a sense. I felt peace, peace only He can give. At the young age of ten, peace was what I wanted and knew I never wanted to lose it. For a while, I did search for the same sort of peace in earthly things and you know I never did find it.
I know it doesn’t have to be a ‘moment’ to arrive to that point or understanding. I have heard it being described as a sprinkling or like a seed that slowly grows as well. For me it felt like all the dots connected instantly. Of course my faith has matured over the years and my understanding has deepened…but I believe it happens differently for different people. The Lord knows us best and He knows I am the type of person that needed a moment I could always look back on. I gather a lot of strength from ‘moments’.
After I prayed, I went for a walk. We lived in Florida at the time and so the warm Florida sun was shining and I felt like I was walking on water. My heart was light as a feather and so was the rest of me. When I feel His peace, I feel that lightness in my heart and body, my mind is quiet and the world becomes quiet. I see beauty in the simplest of things. I am present in the moment and have no worries. When I am given His peace I try to hold on to it for as long as possible…but it always eventually escapes my grip.
His peace is not easily described because it is not from earthly things. I love the sunshine, I love trees, I love sunsets, and I love being by water. Many times, I say these things bring me peace. My husband leaning over to gently kiss my forehead, our moments alone without the kids, our eyes meeting in the midst of an inside joke. The first time I saw my babies faces, the first time I held and nursed them, my early morning cuddling with my boys, or my nightly bedtime stories. I have used the word peace to describe these moments as well. God gave us these moments to show us a glimpse of the peace only He can give. I do feel His peace in these moments, but not always…sometimes I just feel earthly peace. I have felt His peace on ordinary days and extraordinary days––and I have felt earthly peace on ordinary days and extraordinary days too. The difference is my knowing the difference of His peace vs earthly peace.
I know I have said this before but I will say it again. We are not meant to feel His peace every second of our lives. We will only have glimpses of it. I like to think of it as something to always strive for but also something I will not fully have in this life. I guess it is what gives me hope in the struggles. It helps me to redirect my focus when I get lost.
Think of heaven when His peace will be ours forever and ever and ever…aaahhhh.