I Watched You.

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Yesterday afternoon I watched as you walked up from Golf Camp.  You had a dramatic look on your face, much like the many dramatic facial expressions I too have.  You were the only kid not carrying your golf bag.  I’m sure because you somehow talked someone else into carrying it for you.  I watched as you told the person, “Okay, you can give it to me now.”  I watched as you walked up to me and sighed, “Why couldn’t they just let us take a golf cart.”  One of the coaches was watching you too and he chuckled.  It was in that moment I realized I don’t watch you enough.

I get caught up in parenting.  I love you and you are such a blessing.  But our biggest blessings carry with them responsibility, worry, work, and so much more.  I worry more about you because of your Ocular Albinism.  I know I sometimes worry too much.  I know because when I pull (or yank) myself out of being your mom and just watch––I see that you are going to be okay.

I watched you last night during wrestling.  You are so witty and sarcastic. You had everyone in the room laughing––the kids, the coach, and the parents.

I watched you after wrestling as we left.  You caught up with your friend.  You two talked like grown-ups and us parents watched and laughed.  You like to relate to people just as I do.  You are not big on small talk.  Kid, I’m not either.

I watched you this morning as you dug through your golf bag looking for something.  You were acting like a grumpy old man.  Oh boy, you are stuck in your ways.  You are a very strong-willed child.  I read somewhere that the most strong-willed children usually become the most independent in life.  I need to remind myself of that more often.

I will never stop being your parent.  I will never stop worrying about you.  I will never stop trying to point you in the right direction.  I will never stop trying to encourage you to be the best person possible.

I want you to know hard work pays off. I want you to be accountable for your actions.  I want you to have fun in life too.  I want so much for you because you deserve it.

I will never be a perfect parent.  I realize that is okay.  I promise to never stop trying, though.  I also promise to stop and just watch you more. You are an awesome kid and I am so very proud of you. Happy Birthday, Luke.  I cannot believe you are seven years old today.

 

 

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